Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Arthur and Buster Get Stood Up

(Muffy and Francine enter stage left. They walk to center stage, a high school hallway.)

Muffy: Finally, after all these years...

Francine: ...in Mr. Ragburp's 4th grade class...

Muffy: ...we're in our senior year of high school...

Francine: ...and it's time for the prom.

(Muffy and Francine exit stage left and then Arthur and Buster enter
stage right.)

Arthur: Hey, Buster, who do you think I should ask to the prom?

Buster: Do you need to ask that? You've had the hots for
Francine since the 4th grade!

Arthur: Yeah. But she doesn't like me. I think she likes the Brain. He's much smarter than me and wears better cologne.

Buster: Dude, don't put yourself down like that. You are much smarter than him. Well, maybe not smarter but you definitely wear better cologne. I've smelled it - essence of toad turds.

Arthur: Cut it out, Buster! Who are you asking to the prom? Prunella?

Buster: Oh sick! Arthur! I like... I like... um... um... I won't tell you.

Arthur: If you don't tell me I'm gonna tell Mr. Stiffshit that you skipped his class yesterday to play hooky.

Buster: Yikes! Ok ok I'll tell you! But it's embarrassing so don't laugh!

Arthur: It can't be that embarrassing unless it really is Prunella.

Buster: Oh shut up!

Arthur: Fine just tell me!

Buster: Ok, but don't tell anyone.

Arthur: Fine, now just tell me!

Buster: Alright here it goes. I like um um Mm-Mm- Muffy.

Arthur: Holy shit, Buster, you like Muffy?!

Buster: Shhhh... not so loud!

Arthur: Dude, I thought you liked Sue!

Buster: Why would you think that?

Arthur: Because you always hang around her.

Buster: Arthur, you sick puppy, Sue is my cousin!

Arthur: Ohhhh oops hee hee. Well, anyway I think we should ask them at lunch.

Buster: Them who?

Arthur: Muffy and Francine, you dip!

Buster: Ohh, ok, at lunch.

Arthur: Alright and then... Wait! There they are now! Let's go for it!

Buster: Alrighty, Arthur, after you, ladies first!

Arthur: Well at least I'm brave enough, Buster.

Buster: (charging forward, not to be outdone, runs into Muffy, knocks her down, landing on top of her, and blurts out) "Muffy, will you go to the prom with me?"

Muffy: Sorry, spazo, someone already asked me, someone who didn’t have to jump on me to ask. Now would you mind getting off me?

Buster: Yeah, sorry. (shoulders drooping, walks past Arthur and off stage right) Good luck, good buddy.

Arthur: (walks up to Francine) Francine, will you go to the prom with me?

Francine: Sorry, Arthur, someone already asked me.

Arthur: Awwww, man! You too? Who got to you first?

Francine: Ummm…the Brain.

Arthur: Man, I knew it!

Francine: Oh, and Arthur?

Arthur: Yeah, Francine?Francine: Your fly is down.

(Arthur runs crying off stage right.)

Francine: Whoa, that was close. We’re alone now.

Muffy: Why do we have to keep this a secret? I can't take it anymore!

Francine: Well me either! You don't think I'm not upset about us
having to plan our prom in the janitor's closet! Huh?!

Muffy: No, of course not! It's just that I hate the fact that we can't have a happy relationship because of a new president!

Francine: Yah! I know. I hate that Dick Chaney guy!

Muffy: Totally! He's such a prick!

Francine: Yah! Why is he sooo offended about two people of the same sex having a relationship?

Muffy: Yah! I mean what's the big deal?

Francine: If he knew we were going out he would make us break up.

Muffy: I wouldn't be able to live without you!

Francine: That's so sweet Muffy! I wouldn't be able to live without you either. You're the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last person I think about before I go to sleep.

Muffy: I feel the same way. I think about you all day long.
When Buster asked me to the prom all I could think about was you. And how much of a giant bruise I’m going to have on my ass.

Francine: I felt the same way when Arthur asked me.

Muffy: I'm so lucky I found you! Now I what true happiness is.

Francine: I get all tingly just thinking about you.

Muffy: Well, babe. You give me goose bumps. (bring, bring, bring)

Francine: Well, that's the bell. Let’s go to lunch, honey.

(Muffy and Francine exit stage left.)

(All characters return to stage: Buster and Arthur from stage right holding hands and Muffy and Francine from stage left holding hands.)

All: But don’t worry, we all lived happily every after. We all found our true loves. (Muffy and Francine kiss and Buster and Arthur kiss.)


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