tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290877066415905768.post172883646412629763..comments2008-07-28T19:21:12.925-07:00Comments on The Dark Side: Rodney the Robot By Sammi Goldfeld (when I was ten)Not Scotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00308068040742361867noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290877066415905768.post-51307113469417489812008-07-28T19:15:00.000-07:002008-07-28T19:15:00.000-07:00It's clever. I like the description of Rodney at ...It's clever. I like the description of Rodney at the beginning and the elements like crying oil and eating hardware.<BR/><BR/>One thing to think about is the beginning. This part we call exposition. If you can, try to get away from having all that told to us right away. The story is better when there is action, and you open with just telling us Rodney's history. You might consider opening with something more dramatic, like him reading about the kidnapping--or (more realistically) having the police come to his door and telling him personally.<BR/><BR/>Also, I would draw out the investigation. He finds his parents awfully quickly, something that doesn't ring true. It might be better, and build more suspense, if it takes awhile to reach them.Not Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00308068040742361867noreply@blogger.com